Women are at risk for HIV (Human lmmunodeficiency Virus), the virus that causes AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome). HIV is passed by having vaginal, anal or oral sex without protection, with someone who has HIV. Women, in fact, are at greater risk for HIV during vaginal sex than men. Women can also get HIV by sharing needles or syringes with someone who has HIV. You can’t tell if someone has HIV just by looking at them. Information here will help you make choices about how to protect yourself and your sex partner from HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
This information is for all women, whether you have HIV, do not have HIV or don’t know for sure, whether you are heterosexual, bisexual, or lesbian. Even though it’s written for women, this brochure is helpful for men too.
Sex is SAFEST if you know for sure that all of these statements are true for you:
- My partner and I were tested for HIV and we are both negative.*
- We only have sex with each other.
- We do not share needles or syringes with anyone.
- If you don’t know these things for sure and you do have sex, then you should learn about the things you can do to protect yourself and your partner from HIV.
*(Ideally, you should have two negative tests at least three months apart, without having unprotected sex or sharing needles or syringes in between.)
You can choose not to have sex. Or, you and your partner can avoid HIV and most STDs by kissing, touching, rubbing or massaging instead of having sex. These choices also prevent pregnancy.
If you have sex–vaginal, anal or oral–this page lists your choices for protection.
Make the safest choice that you can. Since no choice is 100% safe, GET TESTED for HIV and STDs. It’s the only way to know for sure if you are infected.
It’s easier if you choose protection BEFORE things start to heat up!
No matter what you choose, use protection the right way, every time you have sex!
For Women Who Have Sex With Men
Hopefully, you and your partner will decide together which choice is best for both of you. But women can choose to protect themselves even if a man won’t use a condom.
These choices don’t all have the same amount of protection against HIV and STDs. Whenever you can, choose condoms.
1st Choice: Condoms
It’s your best choice. Male and female condoms offer the most protection against HIV and STDs. But condoms only protect against HIV and STDs if you use them the right way, every time you have sex. Condoms can be used with spermicide (a chemical that kills sperm and some STDs and may kill HIV), called nonoxynol-9 or N-9.
The Latex Male Condom:
This is the best choice to protect against HIV and STDs. Some condoms have N-9 on them. You can also put some N-9 in your vagina when your partner uses a condom. This way, N-9 may kill HIV if the condom slips off or breaks. (Please see A Word About Spermicides for important information about N-9).
Never use oil-based lubricants like petroleum jelly, lotion or butter, with latex condoms. These make the latex tear or break. Some male condoms are made out of lambskin instead of latex. These do not protect against HIV or STDs.
The rest of the choices are all methods made for women. Your partner may or may not know you’re using these methods. The good thing about these methods is that you can make sure they are used if he won’t use a male condom.
The Female Condom:
This is a type of condom that you insert to cover the walls of your vagina and cervix (the opening to the uterus or womb). Putting extra N-9 in your vagina when you use the female condom may add more protection. We don’t know yet if the female condom works as wel1 as the male condom, but it’s the best choice if your partner won’t use a male condom.
If a condom is not an option, here are your next best choices:
2nd Choice: A Diaphragm
Much riskier than condoms, but it may help. The diaphragm is inserted into the vagina to cover the cervix. It is used with a spermicidal cream or jelly. It doesn’t protect the walls of the vagina like condoms do. So it doesn’t protect against STDs as well as condoms. We’re not sure if it offers much protection against HIV.
3rd Choice: Vaginal Spermicide Alone
Very risky, but may be better than nothing. Vaginal spermicide (N-9) kills sperm and some STDs. It also kills HIV in test tubes, but we don’t know yet if it protects against HIV during sex. So, it’s very risky to use N-9 alone. You can buy N-9 as a foam, gel, cream, film or suppository. N-9 only takes a minute to put in the vagina. Some types start to work right away. With others you have to wait a while before having sex. Be sure to read the directions to learn how to use the type you buy.
Worst Choice: Nothing.
Don’t do it. This is a dangerous choice. You’re at risk for getting HIV, a serious disease with no cure. You’re also at risk for getting an STD or having an unplanned pregnancy. You’re worth too much to even think about this choice.
What About Anal Sex?
This is the riskiest sex for HIV infection. Because it’s so risky, it’s best if you don’t have anal sex. If you do have anal sex, use a condom and plenty of extra water-based lubricant. Water-based lubricant protects the condom from breaking, which happens more during anal sex. Use a water-based lubricant, not one with N-9, since we don’t know yet if N-9 is safe for anal sex.
What About Oral Sex?
Even though the risk of HIV is lower with oral sex, there is still some risk. Using a male condom that doesn’t have any lubricant is the best choice for oral sex on a man. If your partner won’t use a condom, don’t let him come in your mouth.
A dental dam should be used for oral sex on a woman. The dental dam is a latex square that covers the pelvic area. If you don’t have a dental dam, you can use a condom cut down the side and opened up or you can even use plastic food wrap (the non-microwavable kind).
What About Pregnancy?
The male condom does protect against pregnancy better than the diaphragm, female condom and spermicides. But the best methods to prevent pregnancy are birth control pills, hormone implants and having your tubes tied. Since the birth control methods that best prevent pregnancy do not offer any protection against HIV and STDs, you should always use a condom with them.
A Word About Spermicides…
Most of the choices talk about the spermicide nonoxydol-9. We know that N-9 kills HIV in test tubes. But it also can irritate the vagina, which may make it easier for you to get HIV.
The more times you use N-9, the more it can irritate the vagina. So, it isn’t a good idea to use N-9 for vaginal sex more than every other day, even if you don’t feel any irritation. If you use N-9 and feel burning or irritation, or your parter feels penile burning or irritation, stop using it and use condoms alone.
Latex Allergies
Symptoms of a latex allergy might be a rash or irritation. See your doctor if you think you are allergic.
If you or your partner are allergic to latex, you can use a condom made of polyurethane, another type of rubber. The female condom and some male condoms are made out of polyurethane.
For Women Who Have Sex With Women
Though the statistics are woefully inadequate, there are growing numbers of documented cases of woman-to-woman HIV transmission. Because the overwhelming majority of HIV infections in women have been traced to sexual encounters with men, there is a false belief that HIV/AIDS is not really a concern for women who only have sex with women.The truth is that while in the past statistics on this population were not properly kept, this is changing and the reality of woman-to-woman HIV transmission is coming to light.
Whether you have sex with only women, sex with both women and men, or sex with only men, you must protect yourself and practice safer sex.
- Use finger cots or latex gloves for vaginal or anal insertion.Finger cots are like mini-condoms for fingers, and can usually be found in the first aid section of drug stores.
- Use these or latex gloves before vaginal or anal insertion. Also, keep the nails on the inserting fingers short so as not to break the finger cot(s) or glove and possibly scratch vaginal or anal walls.
- Use dental dams when having oral sex.As dental dams are not very easy to find, you can make them yourself out of male condoms. An alternative is to use non-microwavable plastic food wrap, which is very easy to find.
- Do not share sex toys. Sex toys, such as dildos and vibrators, should be covered with a male condom. If you are going to share a sex toy, make sure you and your partner each use a new condom (don’t share one condom). Also disinfect the sex toy with warm water and soap after each use.
